twirling my hair with my INDEX finger

Watched “funny people” yesterday.

I felt emotional, the scene of Adam Sandler’s  love chose the husband instead of him but yet said to adam that she will love him forever.

Yea, tell me that it’s a movie.

I miss the times when I was a little girl, when there’s no definition of love, no boundaries, no expectations no nothing. EVerything is just wishes, dreams and hopes. EVerything seems to be beautiful, wonderful, perfect making you feel like a whole new person.

As we grew older, definition of love started to change, I swear I have my fears, my expectations that give myself up for loving unselfishly and without any restrictions.

Grannie said “I’ll only meet the right one when I am 25, and get married when I am 30″

And yes, I understand how she felt in the movie.

The pain I felt knowing that I’ve love him so much and that I’ve screwed it all.
All i could say to him is that I really love him, but it may seems to be words of irony.
Well, I am scared, I am young, how sure am i of love?

what’s love?

I do not care.
What ever happens, I am not going to give up, not give up like how i did once and screwed it all up.

Have you ever love someone that it hurts your heart so much?
I’m so happy and im glad he is back.

regardless what happens, I know i’ll remember him, and we’ll remember each other.
and he will be the one i love, regardless of what. I wouldn’t ignore.

It’s not easy, to say all these. Because everything is so sincerely close to heart.
But i seriously think I have to note this down. I don’t want to meet a car crash and forget about everything.

browsing through the past entries, I’ve randomluy clicked on a video for a song that i’ve not heard for long.

Playing it, and kaiwen screamed in the bg “EH! WHALIAO I MISS YZ LA!”

gosh. i miss him too.

and what’s more? browsing photos below those entries with him in it, it just kinda feel so sad that everybody graduated and can’t hangout that much anymore. everyone going their separate lives. He just went in army btw, eileen must have gone crazy.

I miss those fun times where his enthusiam came around the modern dancers, and trying to flirt with everyone to make himself popular. WAHA. not that bastard actually he is a nice guy, and I am glad he found eileen.

Best girl too.

If I’ve not dance, rp life wouldn’t be that great as i wouldn’t know eileen tan and get to know the rest of the fun people and of course, love of my life, kaiwen.

Taking part in Tango Project is a crazy idea for me. I’ve been working so hard for everything that i’ve forgotten what’s “pain” when i dance.

Master master and master, my body is wearing out but day by day i am improving and quickly after all this i would have made a tremendous improvements. From single to double to triple turns, from lousy jumps to soaring in the sky i am so gonna do this.

I am going to apply for dance degree. I want to and I am working my life off for it.
You see… Everyone have a dream and my dream is to go out there perform, dance and be the best and greatest.

Ew that’s so corny, i can’t believe i wrote that. But well, that’s passion and enthusiasm while it last.

I am not going to lose this chance, I am gonna push myself further so I can be as good as the Nus dancers, push myself further and be like a 13 years trained ballerina. I do not have the priviledge, that’s why I am going to put in extra work and make 3 years like miracle.

I won’t die on dancing. Never.

and now. i just need rest… my brain is baking after the crazy 5 new sets of choreography for tango project which is in one’s month time. THis week will be tough. practice practice practice.

thursday – muse preview
saturday- nus class and tango blocking

Monday- Marcus class and muse rehearsals

tuesday – Nus rehearsals.

Come on! we can do this!